Feb 23, 2021
My cello teacher Jacqueline Ultan has been telling me recently how important it is to use my metronome when preparing to play music with other musicians. Playing music together means that everyone must play at the same regular pace. The metronome shows me how I’m doing.
When I am playing my cello and seeing the next note on the page, I don’t have time to think about all the mechanics of playing it. For the note to sound right, I must have the correct fingering with my left hand as well as the correct bowing with my right arm. Learning to play a musical instrument means building my muscle memory.
Being concerned about the regularity of playing the notes is another component of playing that I should be concerned about. But the tick/tock of the metronome has driven me crazy in the past. It’s been distracting and has raised my anxiety. My playing has broken down entirely when I’ve used it. My fingering and shifting my positions on the keyboard have fallen apart. In the past, I’ve avoided it whenever possible.
Jacqueline has been telling me that my metronome should be my friend. She has “sweet-talked” me into using it now. I’m coming to understand that my metronome is no more nor less than a measuring tool. It holds me accountable for my pace. It gives me feedback. It shows me what I need to work on.
In some ways a metronome works like a scale that measures weight. If my weight were a concern but I didn’t measure it, then how would I know how I’m doing? If I want to change, I can choose to ignore my measuring tool, but I do so at my own risk. Measuring and change are linked.
What is important enough for you to measure? Do you have a goal you’re trying to reach? How are you measuring progress towards your goal? Who can help/support you and hold you accountable for this?
Oct 27, 2020
I am excited to report that my wife and I have completed the first full year of our spending plan. Our goal was to understand and manage our expenses. The result of this has been a year of learning and surprises for us.
Our first step in managing our retirement finances was to do financial projections – how long would our money last, based on how much money we planned to spend. The question we answered was the amount of money we could take out of our investments and still have enough for the rest of our lives.
Now it was time to start tracking how we were doing. We chose to start a quarter year before I “retired.” I knew that we would be moving into a new phase of our life. Instead of living off our incomes from work, our income would come primarily from Social Security, pensions, and savings.
We found this quarterly-review process to be extremely helpful for many reasons, some unexpected.
- We learned a lot about where our money was going. As a result, we decided to decrease some expenses and increase others. Those decisions improved the quality of our lives.
- By working on this together as a couple, we ended up on the same page – with a common understanding and plan.
- When unexpected opportunities (expenses) presented themselves during the year, we were able to consider them more intelligently. We changed the question from “Can we afford to do it” to “How can we do it through postponing some other expenses.”
- What we learned gave us a sense of power and control over our lives. This turned out to be helpful in the time of the pandemic.
- We had already done projections about how long our money would last. We were able to see that we continue to be on track – our money should last longer than we do. That understanding took some of the edge off the question – will we have enough for the rest of our lives.
Even before we started, we knew that tracking expenses was going to be a lot of work. The first step in our process to get a handle on our money was to develop the categories of our expenses. Some expenses were predictable and frequent, such as groceries and rent. Car insurance happened predictably but only once or twice each year. Many expenses were as needed (or wanted) including travel, eating out, clothes, gifts, household expenses, etc.
Then we developed estimates for each category. We reviewed the last few years of expenses that we had been entering on Quicken, a popular money-tracking computer application. For more details on this step or if you don’t use Quicken, see Chapter 11 entitled “Enough Money for What?” in my book Serious About Retiring – see below in this email.
At the end of each quarter, after we had received our bank and credit card statements, we entered the detailed information into Quicken, downloaded the quarter’s information onto an Excel spreadsheet, sorted it, and voila we knew our expenses for the last quarter.
In each quarter there were many surprises. Some expenses turned out to be higher than expected, some lower. If we needed to figure out the source of the discrepancy, we had the details to discover where our money was really going. Was this a one-time difference from what we had expected, or not? What, if anything, did we want to do about it?
This whole process became easier to do as the year progressed. We got better at it. We have recently revised our spending plan for the next year and expect to continue this process for the foreseeable future.
I recommend that you consider having and using your own spending plan. It is one of the most fundamental steps you can take as you prepare for retirement.
Do you have to do this? No. Look at the benefits that we experienced (see above) and decide if they are important enough to you to proceed in this direction.
What are your plans to manage your money in retirement?
Jan 2, 2020
There are many things to consider about where you should live when you retire.
Some of the more common reasons for moving include:
- Finding a place that is a better size and shape for you.
- Choosing a different type of place, e.g. rental, townhouse, condominium, etc.
- Tapping into the equity in your home. You can do this by moving to a smaller home or rental and using the difference in price for other purposes.
- Living in a more desirable climate.
- Moving closer to people or places that are important for you.
- Moving after retiring – because you now can. When your job ends, you no longer must live within commuting distance from your workplace.
Moving is always a challenge in time, money, energy, and decision-making. If you’re lacking the time, energy or will to do the move yourself, there are professionals who can help you in a variety of ways.
Movers will transport your possessions. Organizers can help you decide what to take, give away or sell and help you do it. They can show you how to reconfigure your possessions in a new place. If you want to do some of the work yourself, you can negotiate with them as to who will do each of the tasks.
If you are over 55 and moving, you might consider moving to a senior community, sometimes called independent living. Some are rentals; some you buy and own.
The motivation for moving to a senior community is that it will provide a mix of services (that you pay for) that can include home and yard care, cleaning and laundry, a place to exercise, a mix of activities and even special interest clubs. Units are generally on one level so that you do not have to negotiate stairs. As a community it may contain other like-minded people.
If you are concerned about health needs—present and future, you can choose an independent living community that also has long-term-care capabilities available when needed. These can be some combination of assisted living, memory care, and nursing care.
If you live with a partner and one of you needs professional care beyond what you can and want to provide yourself, the two of you can live in different units very close to each other. When one of you dies, there is a community to support the survivor.
Starting to think about senior living early has its advantages. Here are some of my observations:
- It is unpredictable when you may need serious health care. For example, even one misstep can leave you injured or disabled and therefore needing care.
- If you have a life partner or a family living locally and you need healthcare, they may be able to provide some of it. If not, you may need professionals to help.
- The best senior communities, with or without healthcare capabilities, can have waiting lists that can last for years before you are next in line to move in. Getting on the list early is critical.
- If you move to a senior community that provides care, you will move either too early or too late. If you move too early, you unnecessarily and prematurely give up the pleasures of your current home. If you move too late, you may not have the mental or physical capabilities for a simple transition. Earlier is easier and better.
- If you have a pet that you want to bring, find out the community’s policy about pets.
What should you look for in a senior community besides the more obvious normal features in any housing (cost, location, size, etc.)? Here are a few factors:
- Services and programs offered – quantity, quality, and their match to your own vision of retirement.
- Viability of the community. Most are privately owned. Some are coops or run by a nonprofit. Some may need a lot of fixups and some not and this could affect future rents or fees.
- Age of the place. If people move in and stay the rest of their lives, the average age of residents moves up each year in a phenomenon called “aging in place.” Depending on the type of care facilities available, people will move in primarily when they are in their 60’s, 70’s, or 80’s. If you want to live in a community where people are of an age and life circumstances like your own, this can matter.
Each place is unique. Do your research, including talking to residents, before making a move.
Nov 19, 2019
There is a tool called Unique Ability which is used to improve the productivity of individuals and work teams. It can be just as powerful a tool to increase your enjoyment and fulfillment by expressing your true self in retirement.
What it is
Dan Sullivan, the founder of the business coaching program Strategic Coach, developed the concept of Unique Ability. As defined in the book Unique Ability, 2003, by his colleagues Nomura and Waller:
“Unique Ability is the essence of what you love to do and do best. There are four characteristics of Unique Ability: It’s a superior ability that other people notice and value; your are passionate about using it and want to use it as much as possible; it’s energizing both for you and others around you; and there’s a sense of never-ending improvement – you keep getting better and better and never run out of possibilities for growth.”
Everyone has a Unique Ability. When you use it, time flies by because you are absorbed in having fun.
A description of Unique Ability has a particular structure. It contains a talent you have (what you do) and a passion (why you do it.) Here are two examples of Unique Ability statements from real people that are mentioned in the book above:
- My Unique Ability is empathizing with people’s individual experiences and taking action so they feel cared for.
- My Unique Ability is perceiving the essence of a situation and providing practical strategies to align people’s thinking with what’s real.
Here’s the problem. Most people use their Unique Abilities only a small fraction of their time in both personal and work activities. This is a huge lost opportunity. The idea here is to use it more in order to spend your time on the right activities and make more of a contribution.
There are two major challenges in using your Unique Ability more than you do now: figuring out what it is for you and applying it.
Figuring it out
You may not know what your Unique Ability is, and you most probably cannot articulate it well. After all, using your Unique Ability is easy for you to do, and you take it for granted. But even if you do not know, people you interact with know what it is because they have seen it in action. So, you need to ask them.
It is helpful getting input from as wide a mix as possible from people who know you well. You can ask friends, relatives, members of your faith community, colleagues from present or past work, customers and others. Then figure out what their comments have in common.
Applying it
The impact of your Unique Ability will depend on how much you use it. Since your time is fixed at 24 hours each day, using your Unique Ability more will require doing fewer other activities. A systematic approach to decreasing time on other less productive activities involves listing those other activities and your competence in doing them. The activities that you are less competent in doing are excellent candidates for removing from your schedule. This may take some creativity in execution and the support of other people.
Let other people know what you are best at and how you can bring value to them. When you are considering a variety of opportunities, both personal activities and paid and unpaid work, think about which opportunity will give you the best chance of using your Unique Ability. In other words, use your Unique Ability as a filter in your choice of activities.
Retirement
Retirement can be a long period of time, almost as long as your working years. How you spend your time in retirement will be different from what it was before. But you are still the same person with the same Unique Ability.
During retirement you may want to contribute to the world around you through paid or unpaid (volunteer) work. If so, your Unique Ability will let you apply your best talents in the institutions that you most value and appreciate.
You will probably spend some of your retirement time in leisure activities and in interactions with friends and family. In those areas too you will make more of a contribution if you use your Unique Ability.
A larger contribution in these areas will provide you with personal benefits of more confidence, happiness, success, and freedom. Using your time wisely will add quality and meaning to your retirement years.
As you prepare for retirement or are wondering how to make your retirement years more meaningful, consider figuring out your Unique Ability. Now is the time to do it as you prepare for and enter retirement. As your contribution gets larger, you will be more excited in the morning, eager to do what is important for you.
Nov 6, 2019
It has now been a year since I started writing and sharing blogs with you, my readers. The blogs are based on my book Serious About Retiring: A Practical Roadmap for a Healthier, Wealthier, Happier Retirement as well as my further insights into retiring and retirement over the last year. This blog issue is an index to all blogs to date and a grouping into the various subjects discussed. The subjects are Aging, Estate Planning, Income and Investing, Social Security, Taxes, and Work / Retirement.
The 25 blogs are now organized by subject area on the website www.SeriousAboutRetiring.com where they are stored. You can find and read any of these blogs by clicking on the Subject and then the Blog Title on the website.
Here is the index.
| Subject |
Blog Title |
Description |
| Aging |
Energy for life |
Accountability and measurement as tools to improve health |
| Aging |
Use it or lose it |
Importance of learning in retirement |
| Aging |
Later is too late |
Critical issues to deal with before death |
| Aging |
Worry |
Coping with uncertainties during aging |
| Aging |
Your future health |
How to manage and cope with your changing health. |
| Estates |
Cabin to kids |
Complications from leaving an asset to mulltiple people |
| Estates |
Estate and retirement planning together |
Questions to answer when planning estates |
| Income / Investing |
Enough money for retirement |
How to determine if you have enough money for retirement |
| Income / Investing |
Getting your ducks in a row. Part 1 |
How to budget for retirement |
| Income / Investing |
Preventing serious investment mistakes |
Applying investment risk to construct better investment portfolios |
| Income / Investing |
Extra retirement income |
Six different approaches to generating more income in retirement |
| Social Security |
Social Security. Part 1 – Background |
Social Security – general information |
| Social Security |
Social Security. Part 2 – Individuals |
Social Security – strategies for individuals |
| Social Security |
Social Security. Part 3 – Married Couples |
Social Security – strategies for married couples |
| Social Security |
Social Security. Part 4 – Previously Married |
Social Security – strategies for the preciously married |
| Taxes |
Start now to reduce taxes in retirement |
Using Roth conversions to reduce income taxes during retirement |
| Taxes |
Charitable giving in retirement |
Managing taxes for charitable giving during your life and upon death |
| Work / Retirement |
Cello as my retirement adventure |
My example of an adventure in retirement |
| Work / Retirement |
The time of your life |
Opportunities and challenges of a long retirement life |
| Work / Retirement |
Retirement is NOT a punishment |
Functions of work before and after retirement |
| Work / Retirement |
Something BIG in retirement |
Stories of people who have had big accomplishments during retirement |
| Work / Retirement |
Making a BIG goal happen |
Examples of BIG activities during a long retirement |
| Work / Retirement |
Achievement in retirement |
Role of work in retirement |
| Work / Retirement |
Retirement so far |
Evolution of activities during retirement |
| Work / Retirement |
Who am I? |
If your identity is your work, how can you cope with retirement? |
Oct 23, 2019
“For some people, retiring means a loss of status and self-definition. They may even feel as though they no longer have an identity.” Serious About Retiring, Temuna Press, 2019, p. 40
If you are not yet retired and still working, is your work what you do or who you are? If it is the latter, what does it mean to give up your work? It could feel like losing your identity. Some have described retirement as leaping off a cliff or jumping into a void.
There are many aspects of your work, including its income, the work itself, and your interpersonal interactions. Losing any of these features can be good or bad, depending on how the job has met your needs and wants and how desirable the alternatives are. When your work defines who you are, retiring can be a blow to your sense of self.
Consider, for example the identity issues for a physician whose job includes curing the sick and saving lives. The physician is respected and admired by patients and the community at large. Being a doctor is one of the most prestigious jobs. The job position might have been with his / her own medical practice, or he / she could have affiliated with a hospital or other care provider. That affiliation can be an important part of his / her identity as well.
Retiring can mean the loss of many things including being a member of a profession and the connection to their organization. Retiring will mean the loss of their professional network which provided education and support. The fully retired physician no longer gets to use their difficult-to-attain training and experience. And also their talents and skills. These are all part of the physician’s identity. Many retired doctors want to be addressed as Doctor long after they have stopped practicing medicine. This is an indication of the importance of this identity for them and their desire to continue it.
Some doctors retire because they can no longer do the work. Others might leave because of the attraction of new activities. Or they may have had enough, sometimes of the non-medical aspects of their jobs such as using computers or filling out paperwork or dealing with bureaucratic rules. Retiring for them can be like taking off a heavy backpack. Leaving work could give them the freedom and lightness to proceed possibly in a different direction.
Identity issues are not just for physicians or other professionals. Business owners for example frequently identify strongly with their business. It can be challenging for a business owner to sell the business or watch it fail. They can have painful adjustment issues to contend with.
So what are the alternatives for dealing with the loss of identity from leaving a job and career?
- Move on. This means finding a new identity with compelling activities to do. The activities might be oriented around developing your roles, e.g. parent, grandparent, member of a community. Or it could be based on a hobby or other interest. Or it could be “I have always wanted to _______” and then doing it. Moving on is a solution to the loss of identity that is simple to describe. Such a transition might be smooth for some, but it could be far from easy for others. It is the answer to the question of “What are you up to these days?” You will know that you have made a successful transition from your past identity when you mention doing something else and your eyes light up with enthusiasm when describing it.
- Many people continue working during retirement. Your work could be doing something very similar but with less stress. It could mean fewer hours worked – per day or week or season or year. It could also mean work with similar responsibilities but for a different organization or in a different industry. If you do not need the income from a new job, your new activities could be doing something similar but volunteering your services for a nonprofit, friend or neighbor.
- Continue old connections. There is an intermediate approach between no overlap and substantial overlap between the old and new. You can move on to something different from your previous work but still continue some aspects of it. For example, you can continue to be a member of your previous professional organization, attend its meetings or serve on its committees. You can volunteer with and through the professional organization. You can subscribe to and read its professional journals. Through a mix of activities, you may still feel connected.
It is important to be aware of the role of work in your life and your sense of self. Plan for what to do about that when you retire. After you retire, if someone asks you, “What do you?” what will you say?
